THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES
experiencesarah

Sunday, September 2, 2007

I may have OCD

I was watching MTV once, and happened across a show about OCD sufferers. Ever since then, I have been mildly worried that I may have some non serious form of OCD. I obviously don't have it as bad as the guy who had to touch a doorknob 12 times, but I have rituals and compulsive habits.

When I walk, I count and pace according to the lines in the pavement, and sometimes breath according to the streetlamps.
I also trace around my index finger with the nail on my thumb in a figure 8 pattern, so often that I usually don't even notice I'm doing it.

I also listened to a radio documentary about a woman who had a combination of OCD and something else, which caused her to be a compulsive pack rat/hoarder.
This is what started me thinking about the OCD again, because I have great trouble throwing things away. I drive my mother crazy because my room is filled with stuff I obviously don't need but refuse to throw away. I line my walls with posters and magazine clippings because I had found them interesting at some stage and refuse to throw them out. I have boxes filled with old notes and stuff I'm forever meaning to scrapbook. I'm a sometimes sewer/scrapbooker, which means I have scores of fabric and paper that I know deep down I will probably never use but wont thow out just in case I somehow need them.

At the same time I wonder if I'm just paranoid about having OCD, and that most people could probably probe their lives and find rituals and habits.
I wonder if on some level I wish I had OCD because that would be a reasonable excuse for some of my quirks.
But then along with that I feel dreadfully guilty because no one in their right minds would want a mental disorder, would they?

On the whole it would be safe to assume that I don't have OCD.
It is far more likely one could blame my hoarding on messiness and a deep-seated desire for possessions.

No comments: